Hello again, Dr. J here. I feel like I should reintroduce myself because it has been a while. I spend my time supporting kids ages 6-25ish and their parents through my private therapy practice, testing, presenting, and being involved in organizations where the sole purpose is to support local youth. I love tap dancing, traveling, hanging with my husband + my dog, and laughing with my friends, among other things. I don’t have to tell you times have been tough; we’ve all felt it in some way or another. My involvement with certain jobs has changed, the decision sometimes by choice and other times totally out of my control. With change has come some extra time.
A positive reframe I might throw out in session would be:
With extra time comes the opportunity for you to do something you have wanted to do but didn’t have the time for!
Sounds great, but unfortunately, comes with a bit of pressure (even therapists aren’t perfect). Pressure to fill that “free time” with something else, which as I’ve noted before in my Me-Time blog, is not always necessary or helpful. There should be no pressure to fill a full plate with something extra just because you removed something else.
In therapy, transparency is something you can expect from me always so: I’ve been working on a few writing projects and just did not have the time to fully commit to any of them. I finally feel like I’m ready to add something new to my plate, but I’ve been met with a new obstacle, a different kind of pressure!
A pressure to just knock out these complete masterpieces of original ideas that are publish-ready and will be on my list of greatest hits. That pressure has motivated me to sit in front of my computer with a word document open but has left me with quite a writer’s block and therefore, not a ton of progress.
While taking a social media break today, I saw a story that reminded me to start small and then repeat. Brilliant! Something that now reading again makes me go, Duh! It was what I needed to sit down and actually write something that I planned to share…this.
Now, enough about me. I know my clients and their families are feeling pressure too. Pressure to have it all together at home, at school, be social but distanced, and keep the mood even keeled. Kids (adults too) have their own internal pressure, but also report perceived external pressure. I find myself constantly reframing parents’ or teachers’ “hovering” or “pushing” as their attempt to support the client, almost always stemming from a positive place.
I’m here to share this social media wisdom in hopes that when you find yourself somewhat settled into your new normal and you are feeling ready to add something to your plate, you start by doing one school worksheet, walking one lap, writing one paragraph. You do it today and you repeat tomorrow. Feel free to break it up into smaller steps or if you are feeling wild, take it a step further, no pressure.
Of course, as a self-proclaimed five senses fanatic (you didn’t forget how much I love alliteration, did you?) I recommend you ground yourself and surround yourself with tools to help relax during the process. I, for example, listened to Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie and then watched the clip of Happy Feet 2 (tap dancer, remember) where this song and one single step basically save the day! I can feel the support of the pillow behind my back and can taste the delicious tea I made before writing. I have a colorful light in my office and can see a soothing, blue glow on the walls all around me.
So, check your plate, add something only if you feel ready, and prepare your space to be as supportive as possible when you take that first, small step.
Whatever you decide to do, as the brave Will the Krill from Happy Feet Two says, I hope it brings out your happy.